My sphincter is...........?

sphincter is beet red (no blood) and swollen, kinda like a prolapsed hemmoroid. i don't recall anything abnormal happening, I noticed it when I went camping with the two black guys next door to me (i think they are gay because they are always flirting and saying how they like white guys because there asses aren't as hairy or that the hair isn't like brillo pads............ew!!) so anyway, we went camping and we all got so drunk off this stuff called remy martin??..so anyway the last thing I remember was almost falling asleep into the fire and Lester stopping me from falling face first, Lester, is the bigger of the two guys and doesnt really laugh much . Marvin is the other one..really nice guy, funny too, and he don't mind black jokes in fact he tells em sometimes) so,back to the story...I remember waking up around 530 am to go pee and felt like a "wetness" and soreness...no, more like a .burning.pain on my sphincter. when i went to them to ask them to use there cell phones because mine was missing..... in fact, my shoes, and the only shirt I had was missing as well, all I had left were the light tan shorts I wore the night before, no undies, no extra shorts...Funny, cuz I remember packing them and grabbing my clothes pack..... . of course the only shorts I had lleft were the tan ones I slept in, but, they had a blood stain the size of a baseball on them (and didn't want to go walking around with them on.....oh boy , what crappy luck, huh?) So, I figured I go to Marvin and Lesters tent to ask them if they had any issues but they were both gone?!?!? there car, there bags, all there extra clothers, even there small grilll was gone. like they were abducted from aliens...lol.....I remember thinking to myself how it was getting really sticky in my butt crack and that I had to wash it as soon as possible but the creek had really cold water and didn't look so inviting either, but, I didn't want it to get stuck, then I might really have issues, not being able to have a bowel movement can be really serious...imagine if you will, a full day or two of waste being stuck inside your bowels!!!! oh, man, that hurts so bad..I had to get an enema once when I was about 23..what an ordeal............gosh, i'm really getting off the subject, ...so, finally at about 9 am out of no where I see there car pulling into the camp site and they were kinda smiling and asking if my rectum was okay,(they used the other word for it...hehehe) so, being the good christian I am, I told them the truth and they began to chuckle..not knowing the situation, thay told me they had the same issue, so I started to think maybe it was the fish we had caught and eaten the day before..(the stream wasnt really clean) or maybe it was the rabbit we ate which we found on the side of the road perhaps it was contaminated, but I really don't think thats what was wrong because it was still soft (no rigormortis or anything, looked like it was sleeping ..well, they said they are going to the doctors tomorrow because they are really concerned and so am I... so I called my doctor too and go see him tuesday at 11 am..Im really concerned that it might be a bad case of prolapsed hemmoroids or rectal cancer (my gpop died from that, so it runs in the family) anyway gotta go, must change the gauze pad and clean it...dont want to get any fecal matter in tha sores ..if anyone has any ideas what it might me, please let me know...and I will keep you all up to date..thankyou all for being such good listeners..please pray for me and a speedy recovery for Myself, Lester and Marvin....Oh, I was also beginning to wonder if maybe its something contagious and if it is I sure hope I ddint have it first and somehow give it to them by sharing the same toilet seat....I've read about that kind of stuff before..guess all I can do is pray for them now and wait and see.............good night to you all and God Bless.